I’ve been feeling pretty good for the past couple of days. I’m working on improving my sleep.
My job is boring and stressful, but I’ve had several interviews that have gone well and have some more next week.
I might try dating again soon. I sometimes want to and sometimes don’t. I’d like a partner, but I feel very protective of my peace and like being able to decide things based on what I need and want. I don’t want someone else to interfere with my sleep or my exercise or even my reading or television time. I don’t want to compromise. I don’t want to feel like I need to watch certain shows or have food I don’t want to have. I don’t want to work around someone else’s schedule. I was never happy and balanced in any relationship. My exes were unhealthy jerks, but when I picture having a good guy, I don’t want to share a bed or have to wait for him to watch our show. I don’t enjoy those things. I like being able to take care of what I need for myself.
I don’t find it enjoyable to have to plan every weekend with another person. Stay home? Run errands? Visit family? Entertainment? Out to eat? Eat at home? What to eat? Too much to have to agree on.
I know there are benefits to having a good partner, but what if I don’t think those things are worth the trade offs?
I don’t want a husband who sleeps all weekend or watches sports all day. That’s like being single without the benefits of being single. I don’t want a man who stays up late and gets up late. I hate relationships with those guys. So boring.
I don’t like how people are so casual about who they live with and act like they have a great relationship when if you look closely, one or both of them aren’t getting what they need or want.
So I’m picky. Maybe I’m too picky, but I don’t see the point in working for what I don’t want.