I don’t know what dating a therapist would be like.
I went on a lunch date with a guy who told me that he has a rule that he never dates therapists. He said it’s because he doesn’t want a partner who will constantly be trying to do therapy on him. I confess that my instant reaction to his comment was to think that he must really need therapy, ha.
Recently. as I’ve been considering dating again soon, I’ve been thinking about what kinds of men I’m interested in dating. Would I date a therapist? Do they really try to give therapy to their partners all the time? I haven’t researched it, so this is all me guessing and it might be wrong.
I’m inclined to think therapists don’t try to force therapy sessions on their family and friends all the time. For one thing, being a therapist seems like it can be emotionally draining and exhausting. That makes me think that many therapists are probably inclined to get out of therapy mode after a hard day’s work. I’m sure there are some who stay in therapist mode more than others, but I don’t picture most therapists wanting to do that. I’m guessing too that most therapists wouldn’t be clueless enough to push therapy on people and expect that it would go over well.
I’m also inclined to think that some people in therapists’ lives probably try to get them to provide therapy session type talks whenever they have things they want emotional support or help with.
I think it must be like any other career with how people in your personal life want you to use your job skills to help them. But as far as therapists staying in therapist mode all of the time with their family and friends, I seriously doubt it.
I think most therapists do probably encourage people in their personal lives to go to therapy, in the same way that someone who is a dentist might encourage their friends to keep up with getting their teeth cleaned.
With those potential issues out of the way, my biggest fears about dating or having a relationship with a therapist are: Would he be boring, and would I be able to be supportive enough?
I think therapists seem like boring individuals for the most part. Maybe I have that impression because I haven’t know any of them personally, only as therapists who seem to be either emotionally unhinged with their own issues and prefer helping others with theirs, or they seem like they have nothing going on in their personal lives, and that means that listening to other people’s drama is the closest they get to any excitement.
But let’s say I met one who was neither unhinged nor boring. My issue would then be how to be a supportive partner. I feel like I’d want to make our home a sanctuary or something. I’d want to be a ray of sunshine in his life, which I’d want to be anyway, but even more so if I think he’s out helping people each day with their heavy emotional baggage.
That probably doesn’t sound very feminist of me. Obviously he’s a grown man and should be able to manage the burdens that come with his career, so I might be on the wrong track. And I’d want him to have some energy and emotional bandwidth left for me. I’m not really that emotionally needy, but a couple of my exes were very neglectful of me, and that’s a fear I have sometimes.
Those are things I think of when I think of having a partner who is a therapist. My conclusion is that if he’s a great guy, I’d probably go for it.
Oh, that guy I dated who doesn’t date therapists turned out to be emotionally unhealthy. He was extremely avoidant and not partner material for me.
I hope he decided to get some therapy.