Thanks to however the heck The Sweet Lovely Therapist screwed me up about sex and love, I said no thanks to a hot guy this evening. And it was an easy no. I gotta say, I felt very at peace and not the least bit tempted to change my mind about not meeting him for some fun.
I’ve had fun with him before, and I can appreciate a carefree sexfest with zero commitment, but I’m just no longer adventurous in that way.
The Therapist came across as the most sexually boring country man of all time, and it doesn’t matter if it’s an inaccurate impression because it’s the vibe he gives. On purpose or naturally, I don’t know and don’t care. It was cool to see a guy who looks like that have that sort of vibe though. I respect being able to be like that and then after he was a huge unapologetic entitled jackass to me and unprofessionally fucked me over emotionally and mentally, I somehow accidentally do not fucking care at all about sex. I do very briefly sometimes, but not even the hot guys have tempted me, not even a little. At this point I see no indication that the universe can present me with any man who will seem worth my time or effort. I don’t mean that rudely, it just happened to me like this and I don’t think it’s coming back. I’m at peace with it, which feels odd to feel and odder to admit.
It’s simpler and easier this way and I hope the hot guy gets his fun with someone else, but I’m beyond content that it won’t be with me.