Aaron Gleaves has a therapy pullover that even he doesn’t look good in.
Some people always like to look their best for therapy. I think that’s fine in concept, but I can’t maintain that level of effort in the longterm. There are going to be some days when I look really tired because I am tired, or my hair is doing its own thing. It just doesn’t always work out for me to look my best every time I want to, including on therapy days.
If an important ingredient in effective therapy is honesty, then why should a client put tons of effort into looking a way that might not reflect how they’re really feeling? There is the argument that dressing well can boost our confidence and lift our mood, and if I can dress well and feel better then that’s a win.
But I don’t always do that. In my therapy there are some sessions where I look pretty okay and others where I look like someone who has been going through some rough patches that week or even that day.
However, one thing that I’m consistent about is wearing clothes that look good on me, or at least that don’t look actually bad on me. An important aspect of that is the color of the clothing. Most people have colors they look better in and colors that look less good on them.
Then there are some colors that look good on almost no one at all. Why do batches of clothing in those colors get produced in the first place? I tend to think something must go wrong with the mix of the dye or something goes awry in the process and they turn out a bit off from what was originally pictured, but since they’ve already been made, the retailers go ahead and sell them anyway. Keeping in mind they have to get all of that done well in advance of when they plan to sell those items.
That’s probably how LL Bean found themselves with a batch of their famous zip pullovers in an off-mustard color block that flatters practically no one. Of course the ugly pullovers still sold, because they were that reliable LL Bean quality, and I’m also guessing the ones in that color were discounted at some point.
Aaron Gleaves has one of those pullovers, at least he did when he was my therapist. Where did he get it? I suppose in one of the usual ways. Maybe it was a gift, or he bought it himself from the clearance section, or maybe he thrifted it.
The better question is why does he wear it? The only answer can be because it must be extremely comfortable. Because that color does him no favors. Every time he wore it I wondered if he knew that it was ugly. Maybe he knew and didn’t care. Luckily for me he didn’t wear it every week for my sessions. I would’ve ended up saying something because the messed up mustard color bothered me sometimes.
As I’m writing this I’m wondering though, how much does it matter what a therapist is wearing, provided that it’s reasonably modest and clean. Should we expect them to always be dressed up and looking their best? One thing I used to associate with Aaron Gleaves was that he seemed genuine. Would I have preferred him to dress inauthentically? No. So I suppose it doesn’t matter how ugly a therapist’s sweater is if the therapy is helping.
And maybe therapy is the perfect occasion to wear the not Christmas-themed ugly sweaters of the world. Acceptance and all that. I might just scour my local thrift stores soon for an ugly pullover that I’ll wear only to therapy.
If you ever see Aaron Gleaves wearing his ugly therapy pullover out in the wild, don’t mention it to him. He must like it or he wouldn’t wear it.
And Aaron, if you ever happen to read this, don’t worry. People adore you and 99.9% of them probably won’t ever think you look bad in anything, even off-mustard yellow.