My sincere thanks to the smart person who dressed him that day.
If I were a lustful sort of woman I’d praise his strong shoulders and express appreciation for how the fit of his shirt helps me get a clearer mental picture of his chest. However, this is purely an analytical post and isn’t intended to be a lustful one.
I admit that it was with trepidation that I clicked on my favorite professional trauma bro’s latest profile pic. I was expecting another lazy, half-assed photo of an otherwise somewhat attractive man wearing sloppy clothing and looking a little too awkward. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to see him done up in a dressy casual way, like he actually sort of gives a fuck. I doubt he does, because I personally believe that he’s either a simple country boy without a fashion clue, or that he tries to come off as someone who is too intellectual or too emotionally deep to care about superficial things like clothes. Yes, I think it’s safe to say that his boss was behind the entire thing and made sure that everyone looked presentable that day, even him. She did a good job.
Now about his shirt. I think the colors and pattern complement him nicely. Is it one of those untucked brands? It doesn’t matter if it’s not Brooks Brothers (Google couldn’t tell me exactly which brand it is) because it looks good on him. And someone did the Lord’s work for all of the lustful ladies out there and told him to roll up his sleeves so they can gawk at his sexy forearms. Personally, I’d never think things like ooh his forearms are strong and sexy with the perfect amount of hair, but I know how some women think and I bet they’re really happy with this picture. The whole time he was probably thinking that he was keeping things boring and unsexy and church-like by buttoning his shirt up to his neck, and that this pic would be a convenient excuse to show off his watch. I know it’s a pic of a regular dude and isn’t really that big of a deal. I mean it’s not like he’s a sex symbol or anything like that, nope, he’s just a completely average guy with above average height and above average build and a goofier than average smile that somehow manages to be above average beautiful and endearing instead of making him look like a basic dork. I hope the watch thing isn’t him being an asshole and signaling that he’s an intellectual. I’n choosing to be optimistic and believe his watch is only an accessory—one which might also indicate that his efforts a few years ago to be more punctual managed to stick.
Some people might like that we get to see part of his pants. If he tries to crop the pic after reading this, well, it’s too late. I recall how someone said once that they “have screenshots” of something and I remember thinking, ugh such a fucking immature bully douche way to say it like that and make it sound like somebody sent nudes or something. Thank goodness nobody sent anybody nudes—I gasp at that offensive thought! But yes, as some low quality generic douches in Legal Land like to say, there are screenshots out there. They seem to like to say that to try to bully single moms who have been mistreated by professionals who care more about their reputations than they do about their clients, but no matter. As far as this particular picture is concerned (which probably nobody at all has a screenshot of) well, as much as I don’t want to admit it, I think my favorite emotional sledgehammer bro has a rather nice figure and is still pretty good looking overall, don’t you readers agree? I mean his pic is really great, in a good clean church going kind of way. Like he’s a guy you’d be inclined to sit next to on a church pew and talk scripture with, not one that makes you want to sit on his lap and slowly unbutton his shirt. Just the churchy type stuff.
By now you might be thinking hmm, what does this post even mean? Resilient disappeared for a few months and now she’s returned and is being sweet about him.
Ha.
I can’t think only nice things about him. He broke me, remember? And he wasn’t and isn’t the least bit remorseful about hurting me. So I still have to hate him some, you see. I can’t help it. I love him and detest him. It makes sense and I’ve accepted it.
I believe he’s no stranger to the concept of making amends, and unfortunately for his deeply embedded avoidant nature, he’ll eventually need to make amends with me. Yes, with me, the one he appears to hate most of all. Until that happens, we’re trauma buds and some kind of enemies. I expect he’ll continue trying to outrun his emotional baggage and hide behind his professional persona. I’m just trying to do right in my own role as his enemy, hater, fan, most hated ex-customer, most dreaded reviewer of him and his work, or whatever the hell he molded me into.
I can still be productive though, even about the handsome enemy who took me from Trauma 2 More Trauma and made a real big mess of several important things.
Why am I writing this?
It’s been a long time.
He might not remember me.
But I think he does.