He only hurt me because I’m small. If any of you are big, he won’t be able to hurt you. That’s how things work in a misogynistic world. He might be tall, but inside he’s rather small, and small is weak.
I respected him. I never wanted him hurt, even after he hurt me and got other people to hurt me, I still mostly wished him well, because it’s hard to hate someone who once helped you when you needed it. But the more time that passes, the more I realize that his good character moments weren’t real. He’s not good. Good guys don’t bully and abuse and if they hurt someone they are quickly remorseful and try to fix it. He never tried to help me after he hurt me, and that’s because he never felt bad. So if you bigger enemies hate him and choose to hurt him, I won’t come to his defense as I once would have. I’ll let you hurt him if you want to, because you must know him better than me and know he was never the good guy that I thought he was.
I think you should take away his job. I never wanted that because I clung to the idea that he made a mistake and was too cowardly to fix it, but I’m now realizing he didn’t make mistakes, he made intentional choices. Choices that hurt me, choices that he didn’t feel bad about making because he wasn’t the one getting hurt by them.
Bigger enemies, take whatever you want from him. I’m done caring about him. The good therapist version of him was a myth that I tried to turn into a legend. How foolish I was to think of him as the epitome of beauty and compassion. He showed me that facade and I wanted it to be real. It was comforting to think a guy like that actually existed, one who wouldn’t hurt me and who I didn’t have to worry about being intimate with and all the complications that can bring. But it wasn’t real. That wasn’t really him at all. The real him is broken and weak. So yes, you bigger enemies than me, take his license or seduce his woman or whatever you have planned.
I never thought I’d get to this point in my disgust for him, but here I finally am. Do your worst to him if you want to, I won’t get in your way. Before you laugh at the thought of me trying to stop you, I wouldn’t laugh at me if I were you and I knew me. I can see why you would laugh though, being so much bigger like you are. We small ones just don’t seem scary like you, do we?
So you can be the big scary ones. You can be his enemies now, because you’re big enough to be real to him. You’re big enough to make the difference I can’t make. I don’t know any of you, but everyone has enemies, even men like him. Maybe you’re politicians or celebrities or PhD counselors who can end his career. Maybe you’re jealous friends with a lot of money or a soon to be ex who can take half the money and keep the house. It doesn’t matter who you are, just that in some important way, you’re bigger than him.
He has bigger enemies than me and now I won’t get in their way. Not that I even could. I’m small. What could I ever really do?