Keep your wife out of my fucking email and out of my business and out of my therapy.
Please and thank you ever so much.
I should not have to defend my therapy experiences from women you’re involved with.
That is beyond inappropriate and gross.
I am very different from you about this. No lover or partner of mine will interfere with my work and with things that are not their business.
I am not your wife’s business.
I do not understand why you would treat me how you did at the end, after I’d told you how men have done that to me before and I’d told you how they’d hurt me and my family. But then you go and dragged your family into this with me and blamed my blog. It doesn’t make sense to me. I haven’t wanted to drag my family and friends into my business with you beyond what they’ve seen and heard in private and I simply can’t relate to you doing that type of behavior with your family in your business with me. I can’t relate to this behavior because I’m a person who naturally feels protective of people. I was even feeling protective of your family, and I only have positive things to say about your musician brother, who has his music public. I don’t know why you’d be upset with someone liking his music, unless you guys have a complicated relationship. Anyway, I don’t think it makes sense for me to care about keeping your people out of this if you are fine with getting them involved. I think we’re very different about this.
I don’t believe it’s good for therapists to pull their spouses into client problems and I don’t believe it’s good for their spouses to interject themselves. Therefore, I feel like your wife is not the kind of therapist I’d want anyone I care about to go to. Unless of course she was minding her own business and you and your misguided boss thought dropping her and her feelings, which by the way I don’t care about more than my own because it was my therapy and not hers, was a good idea and she actually had nothing to do with it. In which case my condolences to her for having what I consider to be a crap husband.
If I was going to drop my family’s random feelings into a big ugly chat with my therapist in front of a lot of people, I’d try to be more careful than you were, but again you do you.
I just can’t relate to you guys and I’ve tried.
This aspect of our long running disagreement I just can’t relate to you guys and I’ve tried.
It that makes me feel sick. I see that your wife is in hiding and that’s got a misogynist vibe now after you hiding behind her first. Maybe you guys have a shit ton of people who hate you. I didn’t think of that.
Maybe she likes working there but needs some distance so you don’t tank her career with yours. I’m going to go with that theory. So she is smart and you are either a hapless moron or you’re taking well intended advice from your boss, which would work if you were a woman, except you aren’t. If you ever get some insightful manly advice that will work for a man, that might work better. You could ask me and whether I’m your enemy or not, I will tell you honestly if it is man or manchild advice.
Your attorney said he “knows” (a very tricky word to use when to my knowledge he was never present for one of our sessions) that we didn’t have sex. So you guys decided that to cast me as the other woman based on us not having sex was the direction to go in. I don’t understand. And I do laugh at that because it went over terribly with everyone I’ve shown it to. I was sick of second hand embarrassment from it.
I think I’m just not going to be able to relate to your choices. I don’t relate to you leaving me how you did after knowing how badly that behavior hurts me, and I don’t relate to what you’ve done after leaving me.
I know I don’t have to relate, but sometimes I try to because it can be helpful in de-escalating conflict and reaching resolutions. So I have tried, and for some reason I don’t get you or you guys or whomever is making the decisions.
Also, I did run this blog idea past Tim Irving before I did it. And I’ve kept the blog small on purpose. This blog is not my big plan. Those plans I chose not to do because all I was really hoping to get out of this was to know that you understood how you hurt me.
I don’t even want an apology, because it’s too late for it to mean anything.
I wanted you to acknowledge how and why the way you handled my termination hurt me and for you to show some compassion to me for me hurting so bad. Because therapy isn’t supposed to end like that. I’ve talked to numerous other therapists and you didn’t do right by me.
I’m accepting of you liking or disliking me. I’m accepting of you not wanting to be my therapist. I’m even accepting of you having a bad time with how it happened. I’ve often wondered if it hurt you too. I didn’t want either of us to be hurt after what I thought was a good run of therapy. I’m not accepting of you not giving me a heads up and for you not being your warm genuine self with me at the end, or if you couldn’t then I think you should’ve told me why.
You hurt me more than I guess you’ll ever know. It’s because I cared for you sincerely and valued you so highly. I trusted you and needed a bit better from you at the end.
It’s not lost on me that I might’ve been difficult to have as a client. Still, I did great in therapy in a lot of ways. The only person I needed to hear that from was you. I was willing to let you go peacefully, but I wanted it to be sweet, not sour. I wanted a sweet goodbye with you because I loved you so very much. I wanted you to give me a happy ending, and not the sexual kind, the kind where it’s tender and sad and yet beautiful and happy at the same time. It that makes me the other woman then ok maybe that’s where you guys came up with it. Call me whatever you want then, just please try to relate to me. You were always good at that.
In the meantime this is going according to your plan’s trajectory, not mine, so all I can do is hate you. I’m getting better at it.
Love always, three times on Sundays.
Sincerely,
The Other Woman (the client one, l01)