I feel better much of the day most days, but something’s in my way. It could be my pride from being humiliated by my therapist, in front of everyone. Which is why I wasn’t shy to start a blog. The Therapist’s supervisor said they talked about me all the time. I thought therapists only took certain issues or questions to their supervisors, but no, unfortunately for clients like me, it’s a gossip fest. So I said, ok then, I need to tell my version since they gossiped about me for almost two years. Plus you know The Therapist said awful things about me at the end and his supervisor was like, go throw her out right away!
Yes, I haven’t had a terrible experience like that with my other therapists. Maybe they talked bad about me too, but they were more discreet about it.
I have an unsafe feeling now too about therapy that I didn’t used to have. It seems that therapists prefer suing upset clients rather than talking with them. I don’t understand that at all. It’s made me feel unsafe with therapy because if I get upset, my therapist is going to bail, say bad things about me, and then get an attorney. I really don’t need to go to therapy to get more problems. I used to like going to get support to better navigate the problems I had, not to get therapist enemies. It makes me sad, very sad.
Betrayal is always tricky to recover from. It sucks so bad, most of us can relate. I’m not sure why this has felt worse for longer than my worst betrayal, but it has. Isn’t that ridiculous? I know it is.
So I guess it’s just shame, pride, anger, a few things like that in my way. No biggies, haha.
Hey it’s good that I’m not depressed all day and I’m getting a bit more sleep than I had been.
The Therapist: Crickets (because I give zero fucks)
Imaginary Therapist: You’re efforts at self care are paying off, client! I’m happy for you and I’m here for you.
Client (me): Thank you for the encouragement, Imaginary Therapist and for being here for me while I’m working through this.