Therapists, please educate yourselves on therapeutic ruptures and repair. Please study the groundbreaking research of Catherine F. Eubanks and others who have contributed so much to something that’s so critical to longterm therapy success.
Aaron Gleaves hadn’t studied the subject much when I was his client. I know traditional education fails most therapists in this important subject, as well as not properly preparing them to terminate clients respectfully and safely. I’ve had some great therapists confirm they don’t get sufficient training in either of these areas unless they intentionally seek it out.
If Mr. Gleaves had bothered to communicate that he wanted to terminate me, I would’ve been able to help us both have a positive experience. I researched a lot while I was in therapy, and I don’t care if you laugh at me for it like my exes always did, because I’m willing to put time and energy into learning things I don’t know and it often helps me.
Aaron conducted my termination without any input from me and it was absolutely horrible. I guess the damn flashbacks will haunt me for the rest of my life. And that pisses me off because I was a good client who deserved some respect and some dignity at the end.
Aaron Gleaves stole my dignity and power and it was terrible. He looked miserable the entire time too.
I’m furious because he robbed me of what should’ve been a celebration instead of a fucking funeral and because we both deserved better than that unacceptable shitshow.
Therapeutic ruptures happen. Ruptures happen in every relationship, but they can be respectfully worked through.
This doesn’t mean that therapy needs to go on forever. I didn’t want Aaron Gleaves to be my therapist if he no longer wished to be.
Relationship ruptures don’t have to turn into trauma and endings don’t have to be forced negative experiences that nearly ruin all of the good that came before.