He’s too kind and merciful to kill me, and that’s a good thing, but have you ever been hated and had one of your wings broken by a good person?
It’s terrifying. For me it’s been far more terrifying than all of the mean awful men who have hated me and hurt me before.
How am I supposed to defend myself from a guy who everybody loves and thinks is genuine and perfect?
Furthermore, how can I protect myself and future clients from a guy who created and executed the perfect scenario with which to destroy me—and who then erased me like I never existed.
I don’t understand the level of evil genius he has to be to have hurt me like he did. All of my exes failed at hurting me the way he did, and they’ve tried for years to destroy me.
But this beautiful perfectly good man strolls in and after he leaves I’m broken irreparably.
And we didn’t even have sex. We weren’t even real. How do you destroy something that isn’t real to begin with? I was struggling to understand what it was, and he comes out of nowhere and burns it down.
Sometimes I think he didn’t even have to try. I think he must be a natural emotional assassin. I think he just woke up that morning and decided to wing it and he happened to make an emotional kill shot.
He timed it perfectly. He had the perfect cold uninterested and annoyed expression. He disregarded everything we’d worked on in therapy. He did it so perfectly that I still feel it, a year and a half later.
He did it so perfectly that I might be dead and am wandering around as an angry ghost and not even realize it.