I’m falling and I need to land. I think, how much more will I fall until I hit the bottom? I can’t fall endlessly.
The Therapist was with me up on the ledge. He said, come look from over here, the view is grand.
And I said, I’m afraid of heights.
He said, I’m afraid of heights too, but we won’t get too close to the edge, just close enough to see out over everything. I’ll hold you so you won’t fall. I promise.
So we stood together and I thought it was the best view ever and it was a wonderful feeling.
Until he let go.
He didn’t mean to maybe or he didn’t want to, or maybe he just couldn’t hold on anymore, or maybe somebody came up behind us and he let go for just a second to see what they wanted.
I fell and I’m still falling.
That’s stupid, say many people who aren’t therapists. Therapists who see me falling don’t laugh. Some have even tried to catch me. One tried to throw me a parachute but I was falling too fast to catch it.
The Therapist could catch me, I think as I fall, why won’t he?
He doesn’t want to, some say.
He can’t because he’ll fall too, therapy is like mountain climbing that way, others say.
Maybe some therapists think it’s not a big deal to let one client fall because there are so many and you can’t catch them all.
But The Therapist thought I was special, I think as the wind whips my hair. He wouldn’t have let me fall.
Falling doesn’t always make sense, they say.
Sometimes you just fall.
I cry for help but nobody can help me. They think I’ll be fine falling.
But it’s not the falling that’s the difficult and most dangerous part.
It’s the landing.