I could use a vacation. Every year I think, maybe this year I can go away somewhere, but I never have money to do that.
I finally slept better, although not great, the past 2 nights, and it has helped me feel better and more energetic than I was feeling.
This morning I woke up and wished I could go on vacation. It doesn’t have to be anything big. I just want to get away from the relentless pressure of responsibility that I carry, just to reset.
But like most self care options, vacations take money, and I don’t have it. I barely have food.
Poverty being the great catalyst for creativity that it is, I’m going to try taking mini pretend beach vacations in my backyard. I have a beach chair. I have beach towels, because over the years I’d buy beach stuff here and there thinking I’d eventually get to go on some kind of getaway trip. I’ll have a good beverage and I’ll sit outside and read.
It’s fine, I’m more of a pool person than an ocean person anyway, so I don’t need sand in my backyard for this to work.
During the real life segments in between my mini backyard beach vacations, I’m going to do the slogging I have to do to hopefully eventually change my situation for the better longterm, like apply for jobs, etc.
I know the odds and statistics are against me. The chances are extremely high that I’ll be in poverty for the rest of my life.
But if there’s one thing that therapy reinforced for me, it’s that it isn’t pointless to do what I can. Change can happen from doing small things consistently. I can always do what I can and not fret over what I can’t. That’s a choice I have.
So excuse me, but I can’t stop right now and talk about how The Therapist was mean to me or how he has handsome kind eyes.
I have a backyard beach vacation to get to.